Scrumptious Soup!

Here's a wonderful, spicy, Indian, vegan soup recipe for rainy days!

http://www.buffchickpea.com/2009/02/curried-cauliflower-soup.html

Late-Night Listening

I put my HA's in late last night (or, extremely early this morning haha), whilst my window was open, and closed my eyes for a few minutes at times, to just breathe and listen and feel comfortable. I could hear the wooshes of cars zipping down the road, trucks in their rumbling graveyard commutes, and when things calmed, the sound of...the night air--you know, that subtle extra bit of 'white-noise'-type sound that floats into your HA's and settles there?! And who knew that rustling sheets/blankets could sound so crinkly and noisy at night?? Do they sound like that to 'normal hearing' people?? I feel like I have to be a mouse sometimes, when wearing them!

Where Am I?

I used to perform weekly at University coffeehouses, and back in my second University, I was introduced to electronic music production and DJ'ing. Since then, I've been "hibernating" in my room at home, still composing, but oddly shyed away from performing much. I had to sell my turntables and DJ equipment due to hard times, and I haven't performed since 2007. I'm looking to like-minded people to make music with, and I'd love to spin at a party again!

I just really feel like I haven't found my place yet in the world. I'm not Deaf, never was fully hearing, but somewhere in the middle (same with my vision too--not totally blind, never had perfect sight, but am 'legally blind' without my glasses, 20/80 with and although I can legally get a driver's license in NY, I choose not to, out of terror, safety and responsibility). I still do my music, but I feel odd doing it as a person with a hearing impairment (does that make sense??). I have to say that, learning to re-listen to music, especially my favourite Metal and Rock and things, with my HA's, sounds are much different and I find myself almost disheartened and saddened at the distorted difference. Sometimes I feel I hear music better without wearing them. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'd feel shy for sure, exposing myself as a HoH musician, (as if being a quiet person with a visual impairment who plays 7-string guitar isn't hard enough) adding ear-bananas to the mix...

"Show and Tell" to my Family?!

I've been thinking about telling (and showing) my family (about) my new HA's, and all... Only my grandmum has an age-related loss. They know I've had my loss all my life, and that I hated my HA's all throughout childhood through University.

Then I went and got a pair on my own without telling anybody, and have found also a new-found sort of "courage" and "wanting" to belong to the Deaf/HoH community... (Back in middle school, as much as I despised my ITE, I actually wanted to go to college at Gallaudet to become a teacher of the Deaf at one point, and was also taking ASL classes)

I've only been wearing my new HA's when I go out and about, never have I worn them in my house around anybody here, yet. Intended well-meaning aside, my folks can be overprotective and patronizing a bit. Part of me hopes that by showing them my HA's and telling them of my recent thoughts and courage, that they'll gain a new respect for me. Part of me also fears that after this "show and tell", they'll become worse, which will be intolerable!

I'm wondering what are the best first words I should use to go about telling them?
Should I call everybody into the living room and, wearing them, tell them what I've done and how differently I feel now? I want to sit them down and just get it all out there, and I hope that by appearing as confident in myself as I can be (even if I'm shaking), that it'll rub off on them.

I'm trying to think of a good way to approach the whole thing--what would be a line or two that I could say that would ease their apprehensions or whatever? I'd appreciate any and all thoughts and proposed "telling" methodology!

Peace always,
~Justin

Ear-Swapping & World Dampening

Well, I have my new Starkeys now, and am beginning my new journey and enjoying them! Amanda wanted to try them on one day when we went out, so she could, "hear what I heard, so she could understand how I heard, so she could help me." Well, I let her, and unfortunately she didn't like them. She heard quite differently than I do with them on, but I guess that's to be expected, eh? haha

I kinda get a kick out of being able to "significantly mute" my world with my HA's, like I could never do before--just press the T button, and voila, pretty much silence, and a funny hum that changes pitches as I move around from the telecoil being on... It's an oddly comforting feeling being able to do that, you know??

Noisy Spaces, Quiet Faces

I've noticed whilst wearing my HA's, that my ears take a bit of time adjusting to noisy places. I can hear people directly in front of me much clearer than before, along with all the extraneous washes of noise. I've also become more self-aware of just how much lipreading/face-watching I've been doing over the years without realising it! This is yet another reason I want to relearn sign, so that I can talk and clarify something if I miss it, you know? But, seeing how I studied in Middle School and again in University, and forgot almost all, save the alphabet and a few signs, I really want to take it up again!

Torn

I have been doing some thinking since I've gotten my HA's, and I'm starting to feel 'torn' in a way... I grew up HoH but never wanted to admit it or share it with anyone. Then I got into music, and DEFINITELY was ashamed to divulge that I had problems hearing/understanding people/lyrics. Fast forward to now, and I've somehow mustered the courage to try and help myself a little, but now I feel caught in-between the Deaf and hearing worlds. Being a musician makes it feel even weirder, and I don't know what to think about myself sometimes, or where I quite fit in... :/